Tag: marriage

Marriage Isn’t Everything.

Good post by an Evangelical pastor, Kevin A. Thompson, whose work I’ve cited before. [Marriage. What Does Peace Have To Do With It & Are We Ready To Do The…

Good post by an Evangelical pastor, Kevin A. Thompson, whose work I’ve cited before. [Marriage. What Does Peace Have To Do With It & Are We Ready To Do The Work Of Peace?] He writes:

Many people undervalue marriage. This is why I spend a lot of time writing about its importance, pleading for spouses to take it seriously, and highlighting the value which comes when we hold marriage in high regard….

It is an equal mistake to over value marriage—to exalt it above what it was created to be, to expect things from it which it can never give, or to assume it is the answer to life’s greatest questions or needs.

When I was single (and had more single friends), I recall that it wasn’t uncommon to find people who thought that getting married would solve all their problems…possibly the worst basis on which to build a marriage since such expectations will surely be unmet.

It also reminds me a bit of C.S. Lewis who said that Christians shouldn’t go incensing the bed. Yes, it’s a sacrament. Yes, it’s a very important vocation. Yes, to a thousand other good points.

But it isn’t everything. And maybe this is an important discussion to be having as the Catholic Church heads into a Synod on the family which is being dominated by the discussion of failed marriages. Maybe part of the problem has been making marriage more than it can possibly be.

Read Thompson’s whole post here.

As always, comments welcome below.

 

No Comments on Marriage Isn’t Everything.

Same Sex Marriage & Catholics: Survey Says…

It’s all about how you read the signs… Today’s headline to a study claiming that Catholics support same sex marriage and want the Church to change its teaching: Quinnipiac University…

It’s all about how you read the signs…

Today’s headline to a study claiming that Catholics support same sex marriage and want the Church to change its teaching:

Quinnipiac University National Poll Finds; Catholics Want New Direction From Next Pope

American voter support for same-sex marriage is inching up and now stands at 47 – 43 percent, including 54 – 38 percent among Catholic voters, according to a Quinnipiac University poll released today.

This compares to a 48 – 46 percent statistical tie among all voters on same-sex marriage December 5 and reverses the 55 – 36 percent opposition in a July, 2008, survey by the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe-ack) University.

Among all adult Catholics, 52 percent say the Church is moving in the right direction, while 31 percent say it is going in the wrong direction.

And there you have it. It’s clear isn’t it?

Further on in the findings of this “national poll,” we come across a rather significant detail:

From February 27 – March 4, Quinnipiac University surveyed 497 adults Catholics with a margin of error of +/- 4.4 percent. The same-sex marriage question was asked of 1,944 registered voters nationwide with a margin of error of +/- 2.2 percentage points. Live interviewers call land lines and cell phones.

So over a period of six days, they called 497 Catholics out of the 70+ million in the United States. Hmmmm….

Did they ask people why they identify as Catholic? Or how often they go to Mass? These are important questions. Many people say that they are Catholic when they are in fact not practicing Catholics. When asking people who regularly attend Mass, the answer on same-sex marriage is quite different.

This Pew Report from 2008 is a bit dated, but I think it makes an interesting point:

Polls show that frequency of worship service attendance is a factor in the opposition to gay marriage. According to an August 2007 survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life and the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press, 55% of Americans oppose gay marriage, with 36% favoring it. But those with a high frequency of church attendance oppose it by a substantially wider margin (73% in opposition vs. 21% in favor). Opposition among white evangelicals, regardless of frequency of church attendance, is even higher – at 81%. A majority of black Protestants (64%) and Latino Catholics (52%)[*] also oppose gay marriage, as do pluralities of white, non-Hispanic Catholics (49%) and white mainline Protestants (47%). Only among Americans without a religious affiliation does a majority (60%) express support.

I’ll be looking for something more current to post here. Nevertheless the point stands: when asking Catholics what they think about same-sex marriage, a responsible poll would first report why someone identifies as a Catholic, particularly if the poll is suggesting that this religious group wants its leadership to change Church teaching. People who do not attend Mass regularly (and, no, attending Mass on Ash Wednesday or Christmas and Easter does not count as “attending regularly”) are not as vested in Church teaching. It’s also interesting that those who are more involved in the Church seem to better understand her teachings… Coincidence? Sure…

Update, here’s a more recent poll sampling, also from the Pew Forum. If you scroll down to the section “Attend Religious Services,” you’ll see that church attendance corresponds almost inversely to opinions on same-sex marriage. For example, in 2012, those who regularly attend church were 28% in favor and 65% opposed. For those who do not attend church regularly, the numbers were 60% in favor and 31% opposed.

Yet, as we get closer to the Conclave to elect a new pope, you can be sure that this poll will be bandied about ad nauseam: “Catholics say new pope should support same-sex marriage.” Hmmmm….the opinions of 497 people who identify as Catholic for unknown reasons should be considered representative of the 1.2 billion Catholics worldwide or even the 70+ million Catholics in the US?

Come on, can’t Quinnipiac do better? Hopefully, those in the news business will dismiss this study for the shabby work that it is and dig deeper. Look at what the people who attend the Catholic Church in countries around the world have to say about this particular teaching. Maybe start with France? Even NPR reported that 350,000 people showed up to protest the legalization of same-sex marriage.

Or to make it really interesting, ask Anglicans in the African nations what they think of the Catholic Church’s teachings on same-sex marriage.

 

No Comments on Same Sex Marriage & Catholics: Survey Says…

Catholics in Washington State Defend Traditional Marriage in The Seattle Times.

If you live or have lived in Washington state, particularly the western side of the state, you know what’s it’s like. You’re warned that we are the least churched state…

If you live or have lived in Washington state, particularly the western side of the state, you know what’s it’s like. You’re warned that we are the least churched state in the nation (a positioning we may have recently lost), that unless you’re using NARAL talking points there’s no place for your voice in a state that voted to make abortion legal before Roe v. Wade, and then voted at least two more times to confirm that vote. Despite the fact that you meet wonderful people both of faith and not of faith, who all share common human values, the secular progressive values are so pervasive that it can be daunting to even consider speaking out with a divergent view.

One of my favorites from the local Corgi Halloween Parade.

In my three years living in Seattle (yes the city where there are rumored to be more dogs than children) I’ve met enough people to realize that this conventional wisdom denies the reality.

This week a group of us, all lay leaders from across the state, decided that it was time to respond to a group of Catholics speaking out against the Church’s teachings on marriage. Sure, they have a right to voice their opinions; but it’s our responsibility to make clear that they don’t speak for us.

So here’s our op-ed in The Seattle Times. I expected the negative comments, but I wish we could have a civil conversation despite the disagreement on some very big issues. However, that problem is not particular to Seattle or Washington. It’s rampant just about everywhere.

We have a FaceBook page where you can see the list of leaders and sign on to show your support. We are joined by several groups including the Knights of Columbus for Washington State (17,000 members) and the Seattle Archdiocesan Council of Women.

No Comments on Catholics in Washington State Defend Traditional Marriage in The Seattle Times.

Now What?

So the Washington State Legislature yesterday approved a bill to redefine marriage to allow same-sex couples to marry. Now what? As I predicted, the bill passed in time for supporters…

So the Washington State Legislature yesterday approved a bill to redefine marriage to allow same-sex couples to marry. Now what?

As I predicted, the bill passed in time for supporters to make the most of Valentine’s Day. Sure, same-sex marriages can’t actually happen yet. But you can be sure that Valentine’s Day will take on a special significance for supporters of the bill next week. It’ll be a great publicity opportunity for them.

But Valentine’s Day is the least of our concerns. Read more.

No Comments on Now What?

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Justina McCaffrey has another thoughtful piece up at Huffington Post. This time, she’s talking about what’s missing from some weddings: the raw passion that makes two people commit to give…

Justina McCaffrey has another thoughtful piece up at Huffington Post. This time, she’s talking about what’s missing from some weddings: the raw passion that makes two people commit to give themselves to each other completely.

Weddings become productions that are based on entertainment, not centered on witnessing an incredible commitment – one that will probably be difficult to maintain at time – between two people who are also saying that they’re willing to die to themselves in order to create this exclusive union with the other.

I recall before my husband and I were engaged, we noticed that most couples stopped dating when they got engaged. As soon as the ring was on her finger, they were wedding planning. All the personal work of dating was far behind them which is too bad since planning a wedding doesn’t necessarily prepare you for marriage.

As Justina writes,

Given the reality of marriage, a wedding should give people the opportunity to congratulate the couple on the decision to deny selfishness and a pilgrimage pointing toward spiritual maturity. This type of acclaim should be reflected within a wedding.

No Comments on What’s Love Got To Do With It?

I’ll Love You Forever. Until Tomorrow.

In 2010, Washington, DC redefined marriage so that same-sex couples could marry. Part of the argument in favor of redefining marriage has been that same-sex couples in committed relationships should…

In 2010, Washington, DC redefined marriage so that same-sex couples could marry.

Part of the argument in favor of redefining marriage has been that same-sex couples in committed relationships should be allowed to marry because they are in a long-term relationship…that sort of looks like marriage.

Now DC is considering legislation (at the Council level) that would make it easier for same-sex couples married in DC to divorce. This would also apply to any same-sex couple that married in DC and now live in a state where they can’t divorce because same-sex marriage is not recognized in the state.

On the one hand, I understand that divorce laws are an unfortunate necessity. But when such an issue was made concerning the level of commitment that same-sex couples were supposed to be living, it does give one something to ponder. We were told that such couples were already living the type of commitment that married people should be living.

I know that marriage for heterosexuals isn’t in the greatest shape and that divorce is all too common a result for many couples.

But isn’t it slightly off that after all the championing of same-sex marriage, we suddenly (less than two years since DC Council approved same-sex marriage) need to pass divorce laws?

Before we start redefining marriage, we ought to do what we can to strengthen it. If creating more marriage-like relationships just leads to more divorce, I’m not sure what the upside is for expanding marriage beyond its traditional definition.

No Comments on I’ll Love You Forever. Until Tomorrow.

Type on the field below and hit Enter/Return to search