Elizabeth Scalia took a lot of flak for her  piece, “Dolan is Charged to Model Christ, Not the Pharisees,” in which she defended the Cardinal’s decision to continue as Grand Marshal in the 2015 St. Patrick’s Day Parade even though it will be the first time that an identifying gay group will also be marching.

Look, I get it. We’ve been disappointed by the leadership of the Catholic Church on more than one occasion. I also get that we all see things differently and have our own thoughts as to whether the Cardinal should be the Grand Marshall in New York’s famed St. Patrick’s Day Parade, or whether he should’ve attended the Al Smith Dinner in 2008 with President Obama, and so on.

But at some point, so long as he’s not breaking the law – which he isn’t – or controverting Church teaching – which he’s not, we need to step back and give Cardinal Dolan, or Pope Francis, or any other bishop, or pastor, the space to live out their duties. In terms of canon law, the duties of a bishop aren’t just to the Catholics, but to everyone in his diocese, including non Catholics. Similarly, the Pope’s responsibilities are to every soul in the world, not just those of Catholics. Even a pastor is charged with the care not just of every Catholic in his parish, but of every soul in his parish.

And at some point, all of us, except perhaps the most humble (among whom I certainly do not include myself), will think that Fr. So & So should have done something differently. Same goes for the Bishop. And while we’re at it, what was the Pope thinking when he said such and such?! Didn’t he know any better?

I’m not suggesting that we stop thinking for ourselves. I am, however, suggesting that we take the proverbial deep breath and assume that perhaps these people in leadership positions, the details to which we are not privy, might have valid reasons for seeing things differently and making decisions that we might not make. We simply don’t have the same perspective (for better or for worse) that they do.

Turning things around a bit, how many of us have done things that we were convinced were good things to do even though some of our closest family and friends thought we were utterly wrong? It turns out that sometimes they were wrong. And sometimes we were wrong. That’s life.

Cardinal Dolan defended/explained his decision in a post yesterday. In particular:

However, the most important question I had to ask myself was this: does the new policy violate Catholic faith or morals? If it does, then the Committee has compromised the integrity of the Parade, and I must object and refuse to participate or support it.

From my review, it does not. Catholic teaching is clear: “being Gay” is not a sin, nor contrary to God’s revealed morals. Homosexual actions are—as are any sexual relations outside of the lifelong, faithful, loving, lifegiving bond of a man and woman in marriage—a moral teaching grounded in the Bible, reflected in nature, and faithfully taught by the Church.

In other words, he is making a prudential decision, one which may or may not be right. But it is not a decision that explicitly contradicts doctrine.

Some have commented that Cardinal O’Connor made statements to the contrary in 1990 or thereabouts. That was almost 25 years ago. A lot has changed. Cardinal George just wrote a piece discussing how Catholics are being marginalized because of their beliefs:

Throughout history, when Catholics and other believers in revealed religion have been forced to choose between being taught by God or instructed by politicians, professors, editors of major newspapers and entertainers, many have opted to go along with the powers that be. This reduces a great tension in their lives, although it also brings with it the worship of a false god. It takes no moral courage to conform to government and social pressure. It takes a deep faith to “swim against the tide,” as Pope Francis recently encouraged young people to do at last summer’s World Youth Day.

Swimming against the tide means limiting one’s access to positions of prestige and power in society. It means that those who choose to live by the Catholic faith will not be welcomed as political candidates to national office, will not sit on editorial boards of major newspapers, will not be at home on most university faculties, will not have successful careers as actors and entertainers. Nor will their children, who will also be suspect. Since all public institutions, no matter who owns or operates them, will be agents of the government and conform their activities to the demands of the official religion, the practice of medicine and law will become more difficult for faithful Catholics. It already means in some States that those who run businesses must conform their activities to the official religion or be fined, as Christians and Jews are fined for their religion in countries governed by Sharia law.

At a time when a leading Cardinal identifies the marginalization of Catholics from public life, I find it encouraging that a brother Cardinal takes a concrete step to witness the Catholic faith in a very public way.

Let’s be clear. He’s not the Grand Marshal for the Pride parade. He’s the Grand Marshal for the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, the organization of which is not under his control and which has decided to allow a group of self identifying gays to march. He’s not endorsing the lifestyle. But he is meeting them in a human way, not unlike the example that Christ sets for us.

Elizabeth draws very strongly on the theme of Christ encountering the sinner. I guess part of the reason I respect the Cardinal’s decision and that of other Church leaders in similar situations is that it gives me hope that there’s room for me in the Church regardless of my personal failings because if the Church were a place only for those who are perfect, then it would be deafenenly silent, not to mention lonely and utterly ineffective. It would be a waste of the Incarnation and the Passion.

Although it probably isn’t that constructive, it’s one thing to share opinions about Church leadership with our friends and family. It’s quite another to go public (by which I mean the internet and other forms of media) and spew discord and confusion. It doesn’t do much for evangelization. After all, who would want to be part of such a mess if that’s the Church? And, public or private, it really doesn’t build up our own faith. It doesn’t make us stronger, just angrier. For most people, anger means a loss of peace.

In all this uproar, at least among the vocal types, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of prayer or reflection. We all seem to assume that we know best, as if God revealed directly to each one of us (and not to the Cardinal) what is the best course of action.

It’s almost like we’re conditioned to being angry, defensive, and disappointed. Here’s a suggestion: try something different.

We need more prayer. Prayer to calm ourselves. Prayer that we see clearly and that we have the wisdom and the courage to speak up when necessary. We need prayer for our Church leaders. And we need prayer for the peace that will draw more people to Christ.